Back to Reality

We’ve been back in the country for one month, with a one month stop over in Melbourne. Brisbane is hot and familiar.

It took disturbingly little time for gadget lust to kick in, I need a new phone for starters. After living with so little for so long, I was hoping that I would be somehow immune. But we have resigned ourselves to the fact that we will be very, very poor for a while. Something that took about 2 hours to digest. But we can do frugal, frugal is good.

What insights can I offer apon re entry to the first world. Waste. So much waste. And it is so easy to do. I fell back into old habits like a relapsing smoker. Throwing out paper that could be written on. Buying shiny things because it feels good.

Back home. Whoops, I mean back on the farm. We would buy a newspaper for 50c while getting supplies from the city. Everyone would ooh and aah over the colour pictures. It would be read cover to cover by numerous sets of eyes and finally put to good use as firestarter.

I lived in a world where paper was was such rarity, I would pick it up off the ground to start the fire for my tea. I look at all the scattered paper around my house and sigh.

What next?

I love and I hate this country.
I want to come home but I don’t want to leave.

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If my skin turned brown, and my bank account disappeared,
left to make a living here, with nothing but will and hard work,
With my wife and son looking to me for food each day,
I can think of few greater horrors,

The man who left Australia, not less than nine months ago,
It must seem a cruel joke to my friends here when I tell them of how unhappy I was with my job
Friends with no jobs
The vicious treadmill than should have long since exhausted any hope for a way out
But they smile and they laugh
This trip has been a cold shower to wake me from a 1st world stupor.

Sometimes all I feel is guilt and hopelessness.
Guilt for everything I have,
Hopelessness for the situation we failed to change.

Everything is fucked.

Hounded by bonsai!

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Okay, let’s get a few things straight: That is not bonsai, it is saplings, moss and compost held together with scraps of barbed wire. No, I will not buy one. Why? Because I am at the traffic lights, on a motorcycle, on a 6 expressway!